The Sound Of Rain
[Cafe Writing March April Project : http://www.cafewriting.com/2009/03/marchapril-2009-project-in-the-garden/
Option One : Poetry
Weather means more when you have a garden. There’s nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans.
~Marcelene CoxUsing the quotation above as your inspiration, write a poem (any form is fine) about weather meaning more.]
Splattery Splat Splattery Spalt,
The rain drops drummed on the window pane.
The sun and clouds in mortal fight,
No Longer scorched the soil remains.
Croakery Croak Croakery Croak,
the big green frog in my garden cries.
Pussycat dear from his noon nap woke,
the time is here to mince more mice.
Rickety Rock Rickety rock,
Under my burden the wooden chair grunts.
And a mug of cream and coffee thick,
Would you wish or anymore want?
Screakery Squeak Screakery Squeak,
I hear the hinge on the farmhouse door.
A howling wind unabated seeks
To devour the silent summer whole.
Hootery Hoot Hootery Hoot,
the brown old barn owl chides.
Oh!! Now I remember I have to glue,
The leak in the barn where he hides.
Splat,Croak,Rock ,Squeak and hoot,
together they play a lovely band,
A tune which soothes
A tune with life
A tune of joy with hope unbound.
A tune of joy with hope unbound.
Rate This Post
Definitely Definitely Definitely worth a read... and ofcourse worth a comment...
ReplyDeleteWhat i felt was not ok -
1. I dont think it relates at all to the first 2 lines of the post
2. In the end - A tune which soothes - I dont lik to think that frogs croaking and chairs squeaky are sounds that soothe me
What i felt was good.. Correction .Great!!!
1. together they play a lovely band, and a tune with life...
i felt these sentences were great, well placed and very apt.. especially the life! its very good.. all these ordinary sounds that we dont notice but hear everyday adds so much to this life that we lead!
2. Overall choice of objects;
3. overall sounds (splat, croak, etc etc)
4. the concept..
5. while reading this i actually visualised this scenario.. that is great.. it means the poem is reading the reader's mind. very fine writting.
and lastly. a welcome welcome relief after your last two posts.. am so glad you are back. WHERE YOU BELONG!
This is somewhat different than the rest - bcos the first line always explain about the sound, and then it goes deeper - about the one that makes the sound n what it's doing...
ReplyDeleteas usual, you know that i am weak in english...and so I didn't understand some parts here n there...he he..:D
Clappity clappity clappity Clap!
ReplyDeleteBut I feel like giving you a real tight slap.
The frogs did croak and the thunder roar,
But you made me miss them even more.
The poem 'feels' straight out of my English Reader .. farmhouse door , brown old barn owl..brought back a lot of memories besides that of the rain.
Good work!!
@Priya: You have written a blog post yourself.
ReplyDeleteI didnt understand what you meant by the first two lines.
Thanks for the huge list of things not good and good.. correction great :)
I will surely consider them next time... :)
@Vatsa: Yes its different than the rest. I tires to make a proper poem this time.. :)
@Indu : Hands Up. That verse is actually better than mine.. And about the slap. I didnt like that line.. :)
And thanks a lot for the - "Good Work!!"
nice tuning...liked it
ReplyDeleterhythm kollam... pinne athu konduvarunna oramakalum...
ReplyDeletenice poem..especially the tune stuff.ever thought about composing :P
ReplyDelete@anirudh: thanks a lot..
ReplyDelete@binu: thank u.. ellarvarkkum ee shabdangal kelkkumbol oro ormakal varum... :)
@rahul: thanks for the visit mate..
composing me.. people say i music hasnt gone miles near me... tried penning somelyrics way back in college for something we ourselves did.
Bravo!
ReplyDeleteKudos to you.
I am glad that I read it.
Superb choice of words.
kidilam da! :)
ReplyDeletenerathe vaayichirunnu! ee post-il ninnu nere cafe writing-il poyi aviduthe kaaryangal okke anveshicha thirakkil commentaan marannu :(
Ninakku pattiya pani DW-il Alla! :)
i should have visited u earlier! Your poem has the charm of old nursery rhymes - in a deeper level, the lines show the sharp awareness and observation of the surroundings - highly visual and pleasing to the senses.
ReplyDeleteThe reader leaves your page with a gentle smile and BP a few count lowered!
@Mohita: I am glad u like it... :)
ReplyDelete@Tony: Thank u thank u... Cafe writng sthalam kollam
@Bala: Thanks a lot for visiting. And many thanks for the kind words.. Though i am not sure i would like to induce any kind of medical condition on the reader.. hehe
Good One Man...Some people already have a tendency to criticize anything and everthing in this world...So, never mind what others say...Keep writing...Congratz....:)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleterain is an evergreen topic for poems... nice composition macha... :)
ReplyDeletenice poem...loved you experiment with sound...keep writing!!
ReplyDelete@Vipi: Thanks lot.. Criticism is good.. :) .. I love when people criticize so that next time I try better than previous.. :)
ReplyDelete@Manja: Thanks man.. Rain does bring many pleasant memories...
@Dreamer: thank you...
I agree with Balachandran....it does sound like a nursery poem....I remembered my nursery days....and those poems which we used to recite....nice post....keep walking!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, it's been a while since I've read any poems with this much alliteration and onomatopoeia involved, but I really did enjoy this very much. Thank you for sharing and for stopping by my poetry LJ! My apologies for taking so long to respond to you as I was busy with school and work, but I want to return the favor. :)
ReplyDelete@ ANorak: Nice to hear it brought memories back.. :)
ReplyDelete@Alotus : Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment.
oh ! hw hw late i read this..u knw wat..its raining here nw
ReplyDeleteSplat,Croak,Rock ,Squeak and hoot,
together they play a lovely band,
A tune which soothes
A tune with life
A tune of joy with hope unbound..
true..
Definitely one of your best!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful use of words- hats of to your imagination man! Keep up the good work.
@extremity : its raining here as well now.. :)
ReplyDelete@Kaltari: Thanks man..
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