A Final Good-Bye

The rain had passed. The air was filled with sweet music. The music of water drops falling into puddles. It was on such a day 4 years back that I had lost Sophie. If only she was here with me. My heart began filling with heaviness. My eyes blurred. The heaviness was a sleep inducer. I would soon become tired and fall asleep. My ears received the sounds of outside as though it was a healer. It was like nature was sympathizing with me.

I felt a palm on my hands. A gentle voice called me. 'Appacha..'. I could be dreaming. I opened my eyes and saw my son looking at me with gentle eyes. The tears came back. Tears, a companion all along the way, in your sorrows and joys.

'My Son, I thought you wouldn't come this year. I didn't see any letters, i thought...'
'Appacha, how can I forget. You know how hard it is for me to leave you alone here'.
I was so happy, the heaviness i felt before was gone.
'Where are the kids?', i asked
'They are not coming...', he said with a tinge of sadness in his words.' I came to take you with me appacha.. Whatever you say i am not going to leave you alone here...'
I was tired, I was missing my family. May be it is time for me to stop being lonely and go with my son. He loves me a lot. I shouldn't let him down.
'Who told I am going to ask a excuse? I am coming with you.' , I said my heart filling with all those nice feelings you get when you are happy and excited.
' I will come back tomorrow morning Appacha... I have some more things to sort out before we leave here.'

He hugged me as he had never before. I hugged him as though it was the first day that I had laid my eyes on him. I looked back as he left. I didn't feel the heaviness anymore. It was like I was free from all burden. I waited for the next day in anticipation. I packed all those things I thought was important.I couldn't sleep well that night. I got up early and waited for him.

He came as promised. We visited Sophie's resting place. I made of cup of tea for him. Then I lighted a candle in front of Virgin Mary's Idol as we waited to leave.

A new day dawned on the little village. The rain still remained to give the nostalgic effect of the yesteryears. The green paddy fields and the occasional flock of birds flying for shelter. The air filled with the smell of the soil. Everything was perfect except for the news entrusted with James and Annamma. They walked under a single umbrella holding each other. Neither of them were able to accept it till now. Their childhood friend John had met with an accident in the United States and had lost the battle for his life after one day.They were among the few people who had been close to John and his family. They had to deliver the bad news.

They approached the house where John's father led a lonely life. He had been stubborn with John on this matter. He couldn't even think of leaving his house and his village where all his memories resided. James and Anaamma used to come and give him company in some of the evenings. But today they carried a bad news. They were not sure how to break it to him.They stood on the steps and looked at each other. James nodded firmly, took hold of Annamma's hand and knocked on the door.

'Appacha...', they called. They all called him Appacha. The door was open. They went in. They saw a candle flickering before the idol of the Virgin. Two cups of tea on the teapoy and appachan reclining peacefully on the arm chair. James didn't want to break the peace in the room.

' Appacha..', He gently called. 'Appacha..', he called more firmily. Still he didnt get any reponse.. Annamma was about to break into tears.

I woke up hearing my name called. It was Jameskutty. Johnny's friend.
'He came to take me..'.
' Who Appacha.. ?' asked James
'Johnny, who else? you didn't see him? He was here. I must have dozed off. Don't tell me he hasn't come to meet you. He wouldn't have got time. He was running around with all the work to take me with him.'
Annamma started crying. James couldn't control her.
' Is something wrong Jameskutty? '.
James was silent for a moment. It seemed like he was mustering up all his courage to tell me something.
'Appacha.. There is some really bad news. John had an accident and succumbed to his wounds today morning.'
I didn't believe one bit of what James said. Making fun of me like this.
' I know you planned this with Johnnykutty.. you brats... same as old days eh.. Still childish..'
'No Appacha.. You have to believe us.' James told me.

It was not possible for him to die. He hadn't taken me with him. He will come back.
'Appacha.. Susie and the children will arrive tomorrow with the body. We will do all arrangements for the funeral.'

'So you are not joking... you are not joking... How could he leave me alone?'

I was lonely again. As i had been before. Sophie and Johnny gone. My grandchildren the only reason i can give for my existence. I will go back to my lonely life again. No more letters. No more yearning of what good news he has to say.

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